Planetary Conditioning
(Edinburgh, 20th February 2003)

In January of 1987 I had the experience,
that would reveal to me the basics of Human Design.
And aside from the fact that it was a rather bizarre experience,
and a rather painful one as well as one that,
was obviously fascinating.
When you come out of such an experience,
and it was very intensive,
it lasted eight days,
I didn’t eat,
I didn’t drink,
I was in a very peculiar state – my first response was depression.
I was living wild and I didn’t have anything.
I hadn’t seen money in my hand in nearly four years,
hadn’t talked to a human being in over two years,
and I was sitting under a fig tree and
I was thinking about the madness of what I had just experienced.
And I have a black sense of humor and I had this funny feeling.
that this was not something that I was ever going to tell anyone about.

The idea that I would stand up – as I have done for 15 years,
and gone through the process of saying to people
“A Voice told me how everything works...”,
that is a perfect state of madness.

What disturbed me was that it seemed logical.
After all, I was simply shown the matrix.
I was shown the configuration.
I can remember the experience of drawing,
the Bodygraph for the first time and putting,
the numbers in place and all of these things,
under instruction was very bizarre.
The nature of that Bodygraph and thinking about it,
I thought, well,
I didn’t have anything else to do.
I might as well take a look and see myself.

And that was quite a process for me.
The “ruina” where I had the experience,
the man who lived there was an English poet.
And he dabbled in all kinds of things.
He had been a personal assistant to Krishnamurti for many years.
He was fluent in Sanskrit.
Very strange man.
And he had many books in his ruina and some of the books were astrological.
And I knew very little about astrology.
It was only a few years before that I found out that I was an Aries;
I had no idea about any of it.

And so I went through this laborious process - and it was inaccurate,
by the way - of trying to figure out what my design was;
it wasn’t like there was a computer program and all that stuff.
And I was not familiar with all that.
When I finally got to see my design,
I kept on thinking about how static it was;
it was just this fixed blueprint.
And I had yet to have the time and experience to be able,
to recognize what that blueprint was saying to me;
I had no idea what it was really saying to me.

I had a very rudimentary understanding of what I was looking at.
And the only thing I could think of was well I'm really going to,
understand how this works unless I could see this thing in motion.
How does this very static,
2-dimensional graphic become alive?
And it was obvious to me that if all of this,

in fact,
was based on programming that we receive from planetary objects –
and I was told in my experience that function through the agency of neutrinos with mass,
which science would ultimately.

prove was correct – then the only way that I could see my life was in the flow.
To see my life in time, as it moved moment by moment.

And by being able to grasp that,
or chart that,
to be able to find out whether any of this was anything more,
than sheer madness.
You cannot have an experience like that,
and assume that it’s correct or true.
It’s madness,
after all.
I was as crazy as they come.
People were terrified of me.
I was really wild.
I had no idea at that point whether any of this was anything more,
than some kind of mad,
brain breakdown of some kind.
Some weird form of schizophrenia or whatever.
Being smart is a handicap when you have a mystical experience!
And being as rational as I am really a problem.

when you have a mystical experience,
because your brain’s in there saying ‘that was pure.

schizophrenia’.

Had it not been for the logic of Human Design,
I never would have told anybody anything.
It would have been my private moment of madness,
and I would have gone about my business of staying wild and enjoying it.
Because that’s my design.

​

Ra Uru Hu.