Companionship

And finally we have companionship.
I have a wonderful companionship story for you.
Seems like seasons ago.
I think it was 20 years ago.
Not quite, it was in 1994. I was giving an analyst training here in Ibiza where I live.
I had three students.
There were two of them that knew the third person but those two never knew each other.
Yet, as I got to meet them and got to go through their designs,
the first thing that I noticed was that these two women had the same basic design i.e. at the
surface level.
They had the same birthday,
they were born about 6 hours apart.
There were some minor things that were different on the surface but basically they were quite similar in the way they were made up.
The other thing is that they had both been sanyasins with Osho and they had both been to India at the same time and they had both been at the same ashram at the same time and never met each other.
Anyway, there were all these coincidences and there they were,
the two of them in this class on either side of this person they knew mutually and this was a classic example of companionship in the extreme.
It is something that is really interesting about what happens with companionship.
You go to a gathering, you know,
friends are gathering or there’s an event that’s taking place and you go in there.
Now those beings who have a similar design to you, they are not going to be of interest to you.
Why aren’t they going to be of interest to you? Because genetically they don’t make sense.
The genes don’t like companionship.
The genes don’t like sameness. They don’t.
The genes do everything in their power to move us away from sameness which,
by the way, can be deeply deeply comforting and relaxing.
They move us away from sameness and only gear us towards what we are not.
You know, only gear us towards all of the attraction out there for our receptors.
So companionship is something that is quite different and you don’t see necessarily,
at least in my experience,
you don’t see a lot of companionship in relationships.
But when it’s there, what you are looking at, and of course this is very simple – you both have the same channel – is that you have something deeply in common.
I mean, deeply in common in your wiring.
That is something that can be the safe place in a storm for the two of you in your relationship.
That is what companionship brings.
It brings, you know, it’s like that comfortable sofa.
It brings all of the possibilities of feeling secure and not being surprised by things and having things fundamentally stable.
All of this is something that is the byproduct of companionship.
The other side of companionship is boredom.
Because it’s the other part of it.
That is, no matter how stable the companionship,
the stability companionship brings to a relationship,
it still presents dilemmas in terms of it’s not stimulating.
It’s just not. And again, this is a mechanical thing.
It’s about understanding that if you are going to be in a relationship that is strong companionship,
that you have to expect that it’s not going to be an incredibly stimulating relationship.
But then again, that is not what it is for.
Remember,
relationships are built on combinations of these things.
A little bit of this and a little bit of that.
You know, a compromise here,
some companionship there,
some dominance over there.
There are all these combinations that are going to arise in your bonds with the other.
So what do you do with it?
Because this is really what it’s all about after all.
I mean,
you know, you can sit down and go through this material again and you can understand all of these basic mechanical concepts.
You can recognize them because, again, Human Design is not a belief system,
it’s about taking charts of people you know and look for yourself because you will discover so much about
what is there in those bonds, just from the simplest level.
You know, to be able to see the kind of mechanisms that are there so that you can let go.
I’m not somebody who really enjoys being in the repair job,
that job of providing a solution for problems in mechanics because it’s a terrible thing to try to do that. Because without awareness there is not much you can do.
In order to really have relationships that are correct for you, you’ve got to enter into them correctly or confirm that they are correct for you in a way that is according to your Strategy and Authority.
Otherwise there’s no point in putting your energy into difunctional relationships.
There isn’t.
I mean, yes, you know I understand the world and I understand all of these different kinds of bonds and the traps that they bring.
I know the responsibilities,
the sentimentalities,
all the various things that add up to the complexity of not-self relationships and how they manage to survive with all their discomfort.
As I said from the beginning,
I am not here to teach about relationships.
That’s not what Human Design is for.
It’s very valuable as a tool to understand them,
there’s no question about that.
It’s obviously part of the knowledge base that’s developed out of Human Design because whenever we
can be aware about our bonds,
our connections to the other,
this empowers our awareness.
But you have to realize,
this is about YOU making the right decisions in your life,
not YOU trying to fix things that cannot be fixed.
It’s about YOU making the right decisions in your life.
This is what it’s about.
This is the great experiment of Human Design.
This is what makes this thing different – is that it works and you can find that out for yourself.
When you look at relationships,
don’t get caught in the Maia fantasy personality business.
Hold off for a second.
Strip it down to just its mechanics and see something.
If you were truly here to be in a relationship – then BE in the relationship.
Allow it to be what it is.
Be its witness as much as you are a part of it.
Because there’s nothing to fix or change.
There’s only the experience of connecting in a certain way to the other.
If you enter into that correctly it’s a really enriching experience.
It’s profound.
Then we get to see the beauty in the other because we are not trying to make the other something that the other is not.
That we are not refusing to see who is there.
That we’re
always struggling for our control.
See, forever the 7-centered being dreamed of being surrendered.
For us, it is something that is natural.
It’s Strategy and Authority.
This is what surrender is.
It is the mind surrendering control over your life.
That’s what it is.
The moment that you let go of your mind running your life,
it doesn’t matter what any of these things are.
It doesn’t matter if you connect this way or that way or the other way.
You live as yourself, you enter into the relationship as yourself and you experience it as yourself.
Then you are there, no matter WHAT the relationship is.
You see,
we have to get to that place where we accept that life is blameless.
No fault. No victims.
No dependencies.
Just simply being correct as oneself.
You know, I teach self-love.
That’s my Valentine’s Day message.
When you can love yourself which means that you accept YOUR design and the way it functions in the world,
then you are ready to love anyone and anything.
You know, you can just let them be.
And when you are correct,
you get the correct experience for your process.
You do.
So yes, you can look at all these mechanisms.
Remember that Human Design is a vast and deep science now.
There’s a tremendous amount of knowledge in this but this is not the point of Human Design.
It is what’s there to substantiate it in the now and into the future.
The point is living it.
LIVE IT.
Live the experiment.
As you live the experiment you will begin to discern.
It is this discernment that’s everything.
Because you can see these mechanisms you can understand that every relationship is a constraint.
Either a constraint that you embrace and surrender to or you are going to be uncomfortable.
Like most people. In the complexities of their relationships as Not-self.
Well, I hope that you enjoyed all that and that it is of value to you.
It’s my Valentine’s Day gift.
Human Design is a gift.
It was a gift to me. A great treasure.
It is an extraordinary thing for human beings that are ready.
It isn’t for everyone.
It’ll never be for everyone.
It’s for those that are ready.
That readiness is a serendipity.
It’s a door opening slightly.
It’s that moment of the possibility of being able truly to go a different way.
It’s time to go a different way.
It’s time to go the way of ourselves,
what we are as beings,
9-centered beings.
That we are here to be efficient survivors – deeply cognitive and aware and capable of a deep communion with our fellows.
It’s what it’s all about.
All of this comes from within each of you,
each of us, one by one, individually,
to live the beauty of your Strategy and Authority – is to differentiate.
It’s to go to that place where nobody else can go,
to follow the journey that is truly your journey, your path, your way.
To be the passenger of the truths that are discovered along the way and the communion that follows.
We are here to have special lives.
We are here to be masters of the Maia,
not bonds.
We are here to navigate with ease,
to sail these neutrino seas and to sail them in delight, in wonder.
I love being here on this plane in this form now. Wow!
Such a place to be!
When all the secrets are laid open at your feet and all you have to do is be ready.
There has never been a time like this.
There has never been knowledge like this, ever.
You see,
all it takes is the readiness to take that journey,
to disconnect from the madness of the not-self world and its not-self purposes,
to rediscover the dignity of what it is to be you.
It’s a wonderful thing to love yourself.
It truly is magic.
I wish it for all of you on this Valentine’s Day.

Ra Uru Hu.